Category Archives: Kitty Cooks In Heels Posts

These are posts that I exported from my old blog Kitty Cooks in Heels – mostly fashion, and some recipes. Enjoy!

LLR “culture” or Mean Girls Peddling Leggings? Oh, and that body shaming incident

I’ve often said to other LuLaroe gals that I never quite understand why there is so much hate for the brand and the company amongst retailers who have moved on to other ventures, but writing this post 24 hours after receiving our contract cancellation notice, and three days after what I can only liken to a massive case of computer-balls bullying by a group of other retailers, I now can fully report to you: I get it. Like, guys I GET IT. The anger, the betrayal, the frustration… the disgust. All of it. I’ll tell you my candid and 100% honest story now, because I think that the nice girls who still sell LuLaroe – and I have had the opportunity to get to know so many of them – have to demand that this type of bullying and self-policing comes to an end. They have to insist that Home Office no longer condones, or even acknowledges this behavior. Its the only way that the LLR “culture” or, sisterhood if you will, will ever survive… because I promise you there are too many ladies out there who thrive on taking another woman down, and it makes me so, so sad.

Here is our story. It is 100% unedited truth, and if someone from HO or LLR tells you otherwise please know that they are full of it. “It” can mean a variety of things in this instance, so I’ll let you fill it in as you see fit.

As you may know, I’m part of a duo, but you should also know that all of our “complaints” were made solely against me. Lest you think I’m a crappy partner for allowing this to happen, know that although less outspoken Karen certainly shares my feelings on the company, both prior to and post termination.

Report #1 – this happened months ago. I used the word “jackass” in passing and I was reported for conduct not befitting for a retailer. Also know my comment was as follows, “If you’re the retailer who reported my friend G**** for having a mystery sale, then you are a jackass.” Btw, I stand by this statement.

Report #2 – Ah, the body shaming and my unethical breasts. So, I posted the pic you can see below in my CLOSED VIP GROUP!!! to get a little feedback on a few old items from my closet. Not for sale, btw. Now I’m not sure if the person who reported this image (what you see below was the actual screen cap sent to LuLaroe that I received in my email from compliance) was offended by my actual body, or the fact that I use the word “boobs,” but either way it is completely appalling that a fellow woman would take offense to somebody else’s body and suggest that it is somehow unethical or morally “wrong.” Image two shows you the corresponding assessment of this photo by home office. So let me clarify: some woman (or more than one, who knows) is offended by my body and to shame me she complained to the company that I formally represented and they agreed with her to the point where I was contacted by compliance!!! I am utterly disgusted. Disgusted that another woman, or other women as this case may be, would act in this way, and further disgusted that the company would agree with her! Now, I may not be a supermodel, but I am not ashamed of how my body looks in this photo. Shame on LuLaroe for implying otherwise.

Reports #3-6 – Ah, the disparaging remarks. Indeed, I made them. Many of them. But in my closed VIP group, and out of frustration following that horror show known as the Amber launch. Yes, I may have said something like they’re run by assholes? That they’re a half ass company? That it was thievery that they took our $$$ for Ambers but attempted to give us merchandise credit instead of our money back until we opened a case? That I couldn’t wait to be done with LuLaroe soon? I did say those things, again, in my closed group because they are 100% true. I may have also tied a pair of leggings around my neck during a live sale in “the dress” and asked my group if that made my outfit more ethically appropriate. Yeah, that got reported too.

Here’s what ticks me off the most about this: LuLaroe accepts and even encourages this “self policing” crap, and in turn they’re really perpetuating a culture of petty, catty women who care more about catching another retailer slipping up than they do about running a successful business. It just paints such a poor picture of womanhood; like its truly impossible to lift each other up. Its so disheartening because in the aftermath of this drama many, many retailers reached out to me, and some even complained about this issue to HO. So I know that there are many women out there who are really trying to make a success of their business while attempting to keep that shred of sisterhood alive. Ladies: make yourselves heard. These malicious snakes slithering through your pages, your group pages, your upline pages and ISO groups have to be a stopped, and you have to demand that Home Office doesn’t waste time on pursuing this crap when we all know they should be spending that time trying to work more Dorito prints into the 2.0 rotation. They’re so missed.

Xoxo – H

I wore this today.

Hey.

As promised I’ve continued to photograph my outfits for posterity. To be honest I actually don’t really know what that means. And, yet, here I am doing the posterity thing.

I actually loved this outfit. There are few things in life that I love more than a pair of wide leg pants. They make me feel as if I’m ready for some impromptu boating excursions or maybe some sort of art gallery thing. Both of which obviously happen to me constantly.

I paired it with a white tee, the cluster of bracelets that I’ve been favoring lately, some big earrings & my beloved brown Havaianas. Let me tell you about these shoes. Once upon s time 13 years ago I went to California and thought it was a good idea to walk around Manhattan Beach in big ass platform espadrilles. With bleeding feet, in desperation, I stopped in a little boutique and picked these up! Lifesavers! And they really stood the test of time.

This is my new bag from Wanderers Travel Co. Never will you feel softer leather… I was just tired of carrying the same Coach & MK bags as everyone else. I wanted a bag that looked as if I picked it up from some little artisan while on holiday in Spain.

Things I Wore This Week – 1

Well, I’ve decided to try something new.

I took a browse through some of my old blogs and I realized that many of my photos were, well, crappy. But all of my LuLaroe experience has, at the very least, taught me how to photograph clothing layouts.

So, I started taking pics of my outfits flat. Because apparently I assume everyone wants to know all of the details of wardrobe. You’re welcome.

Outfit #1 – This is my new navy/white LuLaroe Jessie. It feels nautical and, thus, summery to me. Added some bracelets, flat Jessica Simpson sandals and this bag from Wanderers Travel Co, which I loveeeee.

Outfit #2 – This sleeveless white top came in my latest Stitch Fix – it’s a good, classic piece. I added a denim pencil skirt from Loft, navy blue cardigan from Jcrew Factory, and some old sandals from Kohl’s. The earrings here also came in the fix, but they were $28 which is a bit steep for me for costume jewelry.

Outfit #3 – I am actually wearing this right now. It is my lone pair of shorts (Lucky Brand) Jcrew tee, Jcrew flips and the same group of bracelets from outfit 1 – it’s an anchor bangle from Alex & Ani and two metaphysical crystal bracelets.

Feel free to ask me for links for any of the items pictured!! Stay tuned for more outfits!!!

Capsulish

I really think I’m a minimalist at heart. Most of you know that I’m the ultimate purger. I just hate having extra stuff around. As I’ve shared before, I used to play a little psychopath game as a child… I’d be forced to choose only one toy keep forever, forsaking all others. Yeah, weird kid.

Let’s just say I get tired of clothes pretty quickly. With a few exceptions, I tend to wear an item 3-4 times and then into eBay it goes! So, for me, I first had to figure out what would even make me want to hang onto certain items long term, as the heart of a true capsule wardrobe is meant to consist of the classic “you” pieces that you’d reach for time and again, day after day, year after year.

Yay, a good soul search!

So I sat myself down and thought about what I really love to wear. And what I’ve worn but don’t particularly even like. Kind of like, if they were to make a Heather Barbie, what would she look like?

Here’s what I found out about myself…

I hate sleeves. I hate showing any part of my leg. I cannot do heels. Period end of story.

My daytime work wardrobe consists of the following formula: pants + sleeveless blouse + cardigan. My casual wardrobe consists of the following formula: maxi skirts/jeans/khakis + tank. When I stray from the formula I fidget, I pull at my clothes, and I’m just generally annoyed.

And so this is what I did: I got rid of nearly everything that didn’t fit into one of these categories. Extreme? A bit. But really, it was freeing. Of course I did hang onto a handful of long sleeve sweaters and a few Carly dresses, but other than that, I purged the hell out of my closet. Need numbers? Ok. I kept 5 pairs of dress pants, 6 pairs of casual pants/jeans, 4 skirts, 29 blouses and just the sweaters pictured below. The three jackets below, but one might be making an eBay appearance this week.Two purses, my Tieks, plus 4 pairs of boots and 4 sandals. Pjs, a few leggings/workout things and 1 pair of sneakers. Yes, I have more tops than you’d expect, but these are my only tops for allllll of the seasons. I don’t rotate my clothes in and out every season. What you see here is what you get. I also have a stack of pre-pregnancy pants, but thats a whole separate issue.

Anyhow, that’s where I am today with my closet, but I’m already looking to prune it a bit further…

5 Truths at Age 40

I don’t know about all of y’alllll but I’ve spent many precious hours trying to be that gal that Ive assumed society wants me to be. You know, that twenty first century highly curated Facebook Instagram Pinterest Girl-power Feminist FTWM SAHM PTWM Snapchat I’m not a regular mom I’m a cool mom completely artificial archetypal Anthropologie woman. Well, its 11:12 on a Monday evening and I’m here to tell you this:

No more! I’m coming out, coming clean, throwing that window open like I’m damn Mrs. Mallard.

God I hope someone knows that reference. And FYI, I do love Anthropologie. Anyhow, here are my 5 confessions. 5 truths. 5 facades behind which I shall no longer hide! Read on. Be my judge, jury and executioner, friend.

1) I can’t walk in heels. I don’t mean 4 inch sky high stilettos… I mean that I will fall down dead with a broken ankle in 1.5 inch baby kitten heels. So, I make no apology about my Tieks habit. They’re saving my life every single day.

2) I hate smoothies. Guys, I tried, but if I’m gonna drink my calories it’s going to be in the form of either a milkshake or liquor. I guess I just like chewing. Add Açaí bowls and tea to this list.

3) I just don’t think The Office is funny. I wanted to love it, but it was painfully hack. Tried the British Office but I seriously couldn’t understand 75% of the dialogue.

4) I can’t hold my liquor. I’d say “anymore” or blame it on my age, but truth be told, I’ve always been a lightweight. Now I have to plan for a half day of vomiting if I intend on having more than one drink.

5) I will never feel ok with my body in a bathing suit. Ever. Even when I was a size 4 for 15 minutes in my twenties I wouldn’t gallivant around in a swimsuit… so, now being old as hell and having birthed a giant baby I’m considering what them there Mormons and fundamentalist Christians call a “modesty suit” – google it. You’ll piss yourself a little bit.

Oh, one more thing. Diet Dr Pepper is pretty fantastic. Carry on, friends.

H

Give me a break, Heather

Sometimes I talk to myself.

In fact, some of my best conversations have occurred completely inside of my own head. I fancy myself pretty entertaining, and usually I amuse myself. But too often I do something else. Something that I’d bet my bottom dollar that you also partake in. This is a serious statement because if you check my wallet at this present moment I think I’m literally down to my bottom dollar.

But that is neither here nor there.

What I’m talking about is self-criticism. I do it. You do it. Don’t even pretend you don’t. Even the most confident among us has a momentarily lapse of self-deprecation. It happens. But why does it happen? I’ve been thinking on this subject a lot lately, and I think I’ve had a semi-epiphany about it.

Like many of you, most of my self-criticism concerns my weight. I’ve often said that not a day has gone by in my adult life when I haven’t obsessed over money or calories. In fact, I can’t remember a time in my life when I was even consistently “ok” with my body, and believe me, I’ve been chunky, skinny and everything in between. I’ve always had a knack for feeling good for a second, and then immediately following up that feeling with, “oh but if only I was…” and fill in the blank. A little thinner. A little less thunder-thighed. A little less ham-like-armed. Blah blah blah. If you’re like me, and I sort of hope you’re not, you probably can’t even enjoy a fantastic meal at a restaurant without thinking either “well, I certainly can’t get on the scale tomorrow” or possibly “I guess if we’re going out to dinner I’ll eat sparingly throughout the day to compensate.” But I think you all are, because when I reached out on my Facebook and asked for photos that you all felt good about, I was met with so much self-loathing and self-criticism, and that made me so sad.

It has to stop. And so, friends, today I’ve decided to cut myself a break.

That’s right. Give me a break already, Heather. Size 4 size 14, I’ll probably never been 100% ok with the gal I see in the mirror, but you know what? I think I’m becoming comfortable with that idea. I’ve been obsessing for over two years trying to lose the last 18 baby pounds (ps – don’t gain 65+ pounds when you’re pregnant. All of those egg sandwich bagels SEEM like a great idea, but they will hang around long after your kid is begging you to crack raw eggs with a hammer on the floor of your living room) And I do think I’ll do it, eventually. I hope so.

But right now, I’m giving myself permission to accept, and dare I say even LIKE, my body during the process. Am I trying to kick my Taco Bell habit and eat healthier? Of course. Am I hoping to incorporate some exercise into my life? I guess, but I just hate it. I know that until I do these things my old jeans will sit in my closet and stare at me mockingly, but right now I’m ok with going at my own pace and telling those jeans to check their attitude at the door.

I grew a kid in my body, and they cut him out of my abdomen with a knife. I think. I don’t know, I was pretty incoherent for that whole thing. I work like 8908 jobs. I’m busy. I’m tired. I’m so many things all the time, all day long, all week-long, all month-long, and I’m so so so exhausted sometimes. And I know you are too. You’re moms, you’re step moms, you’re single, you’re married, you’re divorced, you’re pet moms, you’re hard workers, you’re doing all of the things that make the world go ’round. And you know what? Its ok if it’s taking us a little bit longer to get there. Size 2, size 22, size 42, you have to find some beauty when you look in the mirror. It’s there – I promise. Other people see it, so stop all of your “I’m so fat” “I’m so ugly” “look at my wrinkles” and cut yourself a break, for God’s sake.

Success isn’t about achieving a specific end result. It’s every step you take along the way the moment you decide you are going to be successful. It doesn’t matter if it takes you two months or two years. It’s a journey. Be a little kinder to yourself as you find your way down the path.

Here I am pre-Jake, 36 weeks pregnant, and two weeks ago. And I think I’m ok with it. I’m trying so hard to appreciate my body for what it can do, not for what I think it’s supposed to look like.

heather

And how about all of my beautiful friends, who, either happily or reluctantly, shared these fantastic images of themselves? Beautiful, every single one of them – and I bet, if you turn down that little voice inside of your head that keeps putting you down, that you are too. xoxo – H

friends2friends